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Self Assessment

Am I Being Abused?

Recognizing Unhealthy and Abusive Patterns

Abuse does not always look the way we expect. It does not require physical violence. It does not always happen every day. And it does not only happen to women.

If something does not feel right in your relationship, that feeling deserves attention.

Signs of Abuse

Look for the patterns

These signs apply to all genders and all types of relationships.

Emotional Abuse

  • Constant criticism, sarcasm, or insults
  • Being ignored or emotionally shut out
  • Gaslighting ("you're imagining it")
  • Blaming you for everything
  • Humiliating you in public or private

Psychological Abuse

  • Intimidation or threats
  • Monitoring your calls, messages, or routines
  • Making you feel guilty for your own needs
  • Feeling afraid to disagree or express yourself

Physical Abuse

  • Hitting, grabbing, pushing, or restraining
  • Breaking objects or blocking your exit
  • Downplaying violence as "just anger"
  • Physical acts disguised as "joking"

Control and Isolation

  • Controlling who you see or where you go
  • Jealousy used to justify control
  • Withholding money, support, or connection
  • Cutting you off from family or friends

Sexual Coercion

  • Guilt or pressure to have sex
  • Being mocked or shamed for saying no
  • Disrespecting boundaries even in marriage

Not Every Conflict Is Abuse

One-time arguments or poor communication do not always mean abuse. Look for repeating patterns of harm, control, or fear. Abuse often wears a mask.

Self Check

Ask yourself:

  • Do I feel safe and respected?
  • Do I feel shamed, fearful, or silenced?
  • Do I minimize what is happening to protect them?

You do not need bruises to be hurt.
You do not need proof to ask for help.

Resources and Support

Visit our resources and support page for more help and national crisis lines.

Resources and Support

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